Lights Out
by mickys411
Summary: While he and Balki clean Mr. Wainwright's office to earn extra money to buy anniversary gifts for Jennifer and Maryann, Larry accidently breaks a valuable Tiffany lamp and needs to find a replacement
1. Chapter 1

Sundays are always known as a day of relaxation.  
And that's what cousins/co-workers/roommates Balki Bartakomus and Larry Appleton were doing that morning.  
The two of them were taking it easy, after spending the pervious day, which was Saturday getting errands done, followed by taking their girlfriends Jennifer and Maryann to dinner and a movie since they were leaving the next day for their jobs as flight attendants on flights to England, Ireland and Scotland.  
As they sat down to breakfast of raisin puff cereal along with coffee for Larry and orange juice for Balki, the two read the morning newspaper.  
Larry of course read every section, except for the comics, which went straight to Balki.

As he skimmed through the paper, something caught Larry's eye.  
"Balki, I think I found the perfect present to give Jennifer for our year anniversary of dating," he said.  
Balki leaned his head over the table to see what Larry was pointing to.  
"Cousin, you want to give her a nerf dart gun?  
Great choice," said Balki.  
"No, not that.  
I'm talking about the item next to the nerf dart gun, Larry pointed out.  
Balki took a closer look at the ad in the paper.  
"You want to get her a picture of a lady wearing gleaming object on her neck?" he asked.  
"No, what the woman in the picture is wearing.  
It's a diamond necklace.  
That is what I want to get Jennifer," said Larry.  
"Oh I see.  
That's very nice cousin.  
You know, Maryann and I are about celebrate our year anniversary of dating as well.  
Maybe I can get her a nerf dart gun."  
"I think she'd like this tennis bracelet more," said Larry, showing Balki a photo of a gleaming bracelet that hung on a wrist.  
"I suppose that's good choice, though not as fun as a nerf dart gun," said Balki.  
"Tell you what, we'll get the girls jewelry for their anniversaries, in fact, we can check them out at the store later today, and I'll get you the nerf dart gun for Christmas."  
Balki gleefully clapped his hands, jumped up from the table, grabbed a pad of paper and a pencil from the kitchen, returned to the table, and began to write something down.  
"What are you doing?" Larry asked.  
"Writing my Christmas wish list," Balki answered.  
"It's the middle of summer."  
"Never to soon to start."  
Larry just shook his head and went back to reading his newspaper.  
Unfortentley, the jewelry store was closed on Sunday, so Balki and Larry couldn't get in to look at the items.  
They were however able to make a quick visit the next day, which was Monday, during their lunch breaks.

When Balki and Larry returned to work at The Chicago Chronical after paying a visit to the jewelry store, the two were emptyhanded.  
"I can't believe what that place is charging for a diamond necklace.  
Are they pricing per diamond?" complained Larry.  
"At that price, I can only get Maryann a tennis racquet but not a bracelet," said Balki.  
"I know what you mean.  
I wonder how Jennifer would feel about me giving her the rope instead of the diamonds.  
I can tell her it's a starter up kit."  
At that moment, the elevator opened.  
Several people walked out, including the operator Harriet Winslow.  
Larry approached her.  
"Harriet, do you have a minute?" he asked.  
"Sure, what's on your mind baby?" said Harriet.  
"How would you feel if someone had given you an impractical gift?"  
"Sugar, I've been there before.  
One year for our anniversary, my husband gave me a vacuum cleaner even though I hinted that I wanted a brooch."  
"What happened?"  
"For a week, he slept on the couch, and had cold cereal at every meal."  
Thanks for the advice Harriet.  
"Anytime baby," said Harriet as she along with a small group of people got back on the elevator.  
Larry slumped into his desk and said, "Well that's it.  
My relationship with Jennifer is over.  
She'll never forgive me for giving her a lousy gift."  
Balki comfort his friend.  
"Cousin, don't give up the tugboat yet.  
I'm sure we can come up with the extra money for the gifts somehow.  
And besides, it doesn't matter what we give the girls, it's what comes from the heart that counts," he said.  
"Balki, my heart is in the right place.  
Just not my wallet."

Just then, the paper's editor Mr. Wainwright appeared from his office.  
"Appleton," he said.  
Larry got up from his desk and walked up to his boss.  
"Yes, Mr. Wainwright," he said.  
"Appleton, I'm leaving for a business trip in a few moments and I want you to do me a big favor," said Mr. Wainwright.  
"Do you want me to come with you?" Larry asked.  
"No.  
My regular cleaning lady who takes care of my office every Friday is on vacation this week, so I want you to find me a replacement service."  
"Yes sir, you can count on me."  
"Just make sure you get a reliable service."  
"I will."  
As Mr. Wainwright headed was heading to the stairway, and Larry made it back to his desk, a light popped into his head.  
"Wait a minute Mr. Wainwright," he said.  
"Yes Appleton," said Mr. Wainwright.  
"Why don't we clean your office?"  
"We?"  
"Yes, said Larry, as he made his way to Balki, who was sorting mail and said, "Balki and I will clean your office for you."  
"You will?" Mr. Wainwright asked giving Balki and Larry a puzzling look.  
"Yes sir.  
I grew up in a house with nine brothers and sisters and us Appleton kids were a lean mean cleaning machine.  
And Balki is quite the Mr. Clean himself, without the baldhead," said Larry.  
"Mr. Wainwright, my family and I lived in a small house on Mypos, but the celing was so clean you can eat off of it," Balki added.  
"Very well then, said Mr. Wainwright, Be at my office Friday morning at 9am sharp."  
"We will Mr. Wainwright," said Balki.  
"Yes and thank you sir.  
You won't regret it," Larry added.  
"Somehow I've already have," said Mr. Wainwright.


	2. Chapter 2

On that exact Friday and time, Balki and Larry arrived at Mr. Wainwright's office, loaded with cleaning supplies, ready to get to work.  
"So, this must be the place," said Larry, as he looked around the large sized room.  
"Wow, on Mypos we call is place a mansion," said Balki.  
"Well then, let's get to work."  
Balki was about to start cleaning the very large wooden desk, when Larry stopped him.  
"Hold it hold it hold it," said Larry.  
"What is it cousin?" Balki asked.  
"I will take care of the desk.  
All the items on here are quite valuable.  
In fact, that is a tiffany lamp."  
"Cousin, if that's a Tiffany lamp, where's the Debbie Gibson night light?"  
Balki burst out laughing and said, "Where do I come up with these thing?"  
Balki let me asked you a serious question," said Larry.  
"Yes cousin," Balki replied.  
"How many office desk have you cleaned in you lifetime?"  
"Well I.."  
"How many office desks have you cleaned in your lifetime?"  
"Well actually.."  
"How many office desks have you cleaned in you lifetime?"  
"I um..."  
"How many?"  
"None.  
"None as in zilch zero, zippy, none whatsoever."  
"That is correct."  
"Now then, as a young boy I used to help my grandfather and father clean their offices at home.  
Therefore, I have the experience, so I will clean the desk, and you can do the rest of the work.  
The dusting, vacuuming, polishing."  
"If you say so cousin."  
And with that, Balki and Larry started cleaning the office.

It took them a bit of time, but Balki and Larry were able to get the office cleaned in great timing and in an orderly fashion.  
"Well that's it cousin, we've got this place in tic tac shape," said Balki.  
"We sure did.  
Can't wait to see how Mr. Wainwright's going to react when he sees how great of a job we've done.  
Say Wainwright won't be back at the office till later on, what do you say we grab some lunch?"  
"Sounds good to me.  
I can go for some fried eels and onions."  
"Actually, I was thinking more of the lines of a burger."  
"Sounds good to me as well."  
You know Balki, a little hard work and elbow grease goes a long way."  
"But my elbows aren't greasy cousin, though I do smell rather lemony fresh."  
"Oops, thanks for reminding me.  
I forgot to put away this bottle of cleaning spray."  
However, when he reached for the bottle of furniture polish, Larry's elbow hit the lamp, knocking it off the desk.  
And though he tried to grab it, the lamp hit the floor and broke.  
"Oh my lord, I just broke a priceless lamp.  
"And you were worry I was going to be the one to break it," said Balki.

Upon seeing what he just did and how it ended, Larry began to panic.  
"What have I done? What have I done?  
Mr. Wainwright is going to kill me!  
No, he's going to fire me!  
No, he's going to fire me then kill me!"  
Balki approached his now nervous and now crying cousin to comfort him.  
"Cousin, get a hold of yourself," said Balki.  
"That's easy for you to say.  
You didn't break a priceless lamp," Larry wept.  
"Now now cousin there there," said Balki, as he patted Larry on the back and said, "All we have to do is go down to the lamp store and get a new one."  
Larry stopped crying and said, "Balki, that's a very rare to find lamp.  
The chances of finding an identical replacement is a million to 1."  
"But cousin, I've seen that lamp before."  
"Where have you seen that lamp before?"  
"In the front window of the lamp shop, next to the comic book store."  
Larry's eyes nearly popped out and asked, "When did you see that lamp?"  
"Yesterday, Balki replied, I was picked up the latest issue of Spiderman and.."  
"If it was yesterday, maybe the lamp is still there.  
That way, we can replace it and Mr. Wainwright will never know we broke it!" said Larry, as he turned to Balki with a smile on his face and said, "You know, I would be lost with out you."  
"I know cousin," said Balki.  
The two dashed out of the office and made their way to the lighting and lamp specialty store.

As he and Balki drove to the shop, Larry hoped and even prayed that his cousin was telling the truth about see the lamp.  
Of course Larry had to believe Balki, he was of course the most honest person he's ever met.  
And Balki was indeed truthful, as when he and Larry arrived at the store, the very duplicate of the tiffany lamp stood on display, in the front window.  
Before they walked into the store, Larry turned to Balki and said, "Now, when we go inside the shop, let me do all the talking.  
Also, we've got to act like we're just looking and we're not sure about buying the lamp."  
"But cousin, we really do need to get the lamp.  
Mr. Wainwright is coming back from his business trip later this afternoon," Balki pointed out.  
"Balki, I know we really need the lamp, but we've got to pretend we're not interested."  
"Why is that?"  
Well, that way, the store clerk cane give it to us at a fair and decent price.  
It's what we call in America haggling.  
Do you understand?"  
"I think so cousin.  
You want to pretend that we don't want the lamp, even though we have to get  
That way, the store clerk will give us a price that will make us want to buy the lamp so we can buy it."  
"Good, you got it down."  
And with that, Balki and Larry entered the lighting and lamp store.


	3. Chapter 3

When they entered the lamp and lighting store, Balki and Larry were greeted by a gentleman who appeared to be in his late 40's to early 50's, standing in front of a desk.  
"Good afternoon gentlemen, how can I help today?" the store owner asked.  
"Well, my friend and I are collectors of tiffany lamps, and we happen to notice that you appear to have one in your front window.  
Is it possible if we can take a look at it?" Larry asked.  
"Of course, let me get that for you," spoke the store owner.  
He then made his way to the front window, collected the lamp and brought it back to the front of the shop for Balki and Larry to take a look at it.  
"What do you think?" the store owner asked.  
Larry looked over every nook and cranny of the lamp.  
He then looked up at the store owner and said, "On second thought, not what I hope it would be."  
"Sir, I can assure you this is an authentic tiffany lamp.  
One of the most reconziable designs known by all collectors," said the store owner.  
"It is a nice lamp, but it doesn't appeal to me."  
"It's quite ugly to," Balki added.  
Larry gave Balki a look, indicating that he was to do the talking.  
Larry then looked back at the store owner and said, "Anyway, as I was saying.  
Now that I'm taking a closer look at it, it is indeed a nice lamp, but I wouldn't pay a penny more than 25 dollars."  
The store owner laughed and said, "Buddy, you must be in a dream world.  
I bet you're not really a collector, because this lamp is priced at 75 dollars."  
"S...Seventy five dollars," Larry asked, nearly chocking.  
"I knew it.  
Only a true collect of tiffany lamps wouldn't flinch over the price."  
Larry let out a sigh and said, "OK, I admit it.  
I don't collect tiffany lamps.  
I don't collect any lamps whatsoever.  
I broke my boss' lamp and now I have to get a replacement before he comes back today from his business trip."  
Upon hearing Larry's sob story, the owner gave him some sympathy and said, "Tough break pal.  
Tell you what, I'll give you a price cut."  
"Thank you thank you thank you," rambled Larry.  
"That will be seventy dollars."  
"Seventy dollars?!  
What happened to the price cut?"  
"That is the price cut.  
I gave you five dollars off."  
Larry let out another sigh.  
There was no way he was going to afford to pay for that lamp.  
"Thanks anyway.  
But looks like I'm going to have to face the music with my boss," said Larry.

As he was about to leave the store, Larry said to his friend/roommate/cousin, "Let's go Balki."  
"Cousin, what about the lamp?  
I thought we were going to get it so Mr. Wainwright won't fire you," said Balki.  
"It's not going to happen," Larry answered.  
Balki took something out of his pocket, handed it to Larry and said, "Here cousin, you can play with my lucky Mickey Mouse yoyo.  
It will cheer you up."  
"Thanks Balki.  
But it's going to take more than a yo-yo to cheer me up," said Larry.  
Just as Larry and Balki were about to walk out the door, the store owner stopped them.  
"Excuse me sir, but did you say Mickey Mouse yoyo?" the owner asked Balki.  
Balki approached the store owner and answered, "Yes.  
My mama sent it to me from Mypos."  
Balki took the yo-yo out of Larry's hands and placed the toy item on the store owner's desk.  
The store owner looked over at the yo-yo and said, "Why it is a Mickey Mouse yo-yo."  
He looked up at Balki and Larry and said, "I collect yoyos from different parts of the world and I've been looking for this one for ages.  
How much can I give you for this?"  
"Actually sir, if I give you this yoyo, will you lower the price for the lamp, so Cousin Larry can buy it and he won't get fired from his job," said Balki.  
"Sixty five dollars then," said the store owner.  
"I don't think so."  
"Fifty five dollars."  
"What do you think I'm crazy?"  
"Fifty dollars."  
"Too rich for my blood."  
"OK OK, forty five dollars, and that's my final offer."  
"Well, OK then."  
As Balki took his wallet out, Larry stopped him and said, "Hold on Balki, you gave up your yoyo for my mistake.  
I'll pay for the lamp."  
"That's OK cousin, I'll chip in to help you."  
Larry paid the store owner twenty five dollars, while Balki gave twenty even, along with the yoyo.  
The store owner handed Larry the Larry and said, "Here is you lamp.  
And a pleasure doing business with you two."  
"Thank you," spoke Larry.  
"Enjoy the yoyo," said Balki.  
"I will and thank you again gentlemen.  
Have a nice day," said the store owner.

Once the two left the store, Larry said to Balki, "Balki, that was impressive.  
Where did you learn to haggle like that?"  
"A little trick mama taught me.  
Haggling is actually a very well known sport on Mypos  
In fact that's how we got Mildrid our cow," Balki answered.  
"Did she win a lot of medals?"  
"Well of course not, don't be ridiculous.  
They don't give medals or ribbons to top hagglers."  
"Then what do they get?"  
"Whatever it is they're haggling for.  
Mostly animals, but one time mama was able to haggle a small screen black and white TV for yiayia.  
It was for her birthday."  
Larry smiled hearing the comment and said, "Come on Balki, I'll take you to get a burger, my treat."  
"Thanks cousin, but you don't have to do that," said Balki.  
"It's my way of saying thank you for getting me the lamp.  
Plus I feel bad that you had to give up your Mickey Mouse yoyo your mama gave you."  
"That's OK cousin, I have several more Mickey Mouse yoyos at home."  
"You do?"  
"Yeah, one time, mama haggled for a mystery box and it was filled with Mickey Mouse yoyos."


	4. Chapter 4

After the two grabbed a quick bite to eat, Larry and Balki hurried back to the office to replace Mr. Wainwright's lamp.  
"Balki, you clean up the broken lamp, I'll plug in the new one," said Larry.  
And that's what Larry did, while Balki grabbed a dust pan, a garbage bag and broom, to remove the broken lamp off the floor, he carefully placed the new lamp on the desk, and plugged it into a nearby socket.  
The two got finished in just the nick of time, for at that moment, Mr. Wainwright entered the office.  
"Appleton, Bartokomous, I'm back from my business trip," he said.  
"Welcome back from your trip Mr. Wainwright," said Balki.  
"So, what do you think of the job we did sir?" asked Larry.  
Mr. Wainwright looked around his newly cleaned office and said, "I've got to say Appleton, I'm impressed by the job you and Bartokomous did.  
Almost as good as my regular cleaning lady."  
"Why thank you Mr. Wainwright.  
Balki and I put all our heart and soul into making this place spic and span."  
"I said you did almost as good of a job.  
No need to go overboard about it," Mr. Wainwright pointed out.  
"We're glad you like the job we did Mr. Wainwright," said Balki.  
"Yes thank you Balki.  
And as promised gentlemen, one hundred dollars for the job."  
Mr. Wainwright took his wallet out of his pocket, which he then opened, removed a few dollar bills, and gave one to Balki and the other to Larry.  
"Thank you Mr. Wainwright," said Balki, who was always appreciative.  
Larry, however had something to say.  
"Uh sir, I thought the job was one hundred dollars," he said.  
"It was, fifty dollars for each of you," Mr. Wainwright pointed out.  
"Even with cleaning all the items on the desk, including the lamp."  
"What lamp?"  
"This lamp sir," said Larry, indicating the newly bought lamp.  
"Oh that lamp.  
I bought ten years ago at a flea market for five bucks.  
Now, the desk however is one hundred percent rococo.  
Five thousand dollars to be exact."  
Larry's eyes opened wide at the thought of how almost spending seventy five dollars for replacement lamp, only to find out the original was indeed a knock-off, and that the desk was a bigger deal.

After thanking Balki and Larry once again for a job well done, the two (mostly just Balki) thanked Mr. Wainwright for the payment and headed back to the jewelry store.  
However, since they used some of the money to buy the lamp, and didn't get what they expected from Mr. Wainwright, neither Balki nor Larry could afford the diamond necklace and bracelet they were hoping to get for Jennifer and Maryann.  
So, Balki and Larry ended up purchasing the nicest pieces of jewelry they could afford, using the money Mr. Wainwright had given them.  
And of course, Balki reminded Larry once more that it's the thought that counts and hopefully the girls will love what their boyfriends are giving them.

The next night, Larry, Balki, Jennifer and Maryann were at the guys apartment looking as if they were about to go to a nice place for dinner, as Larry was wearing black loafers with a black suit, a white shirt and red neck tie, Balki had on black boots with black pants, a white shirt and red vest.  
Meanwhile, Jennifer had on a mid-length black skirt with a long sleeve white blouse and white high heels, and Maryann was wearing a long sleeved dark green that had a knee length skirt and white heels.  
"Is everyone ready to go out?" asked Jennifer.  
"I am, I've been waiting all week for this," Maryann answered.  
"Hold on a minute.  
Before we go anywhere, Balki and I have presents for you," said Larry, as he and Balki each handed their girlfriends a small wrapped box.  
Jennifer carefully unwrapped the box, opened the top and took out the item inside, which was a sliver necklace, with a small blue gemstone hanging from it.  
Her eyes, that matched the stone's color opened wide as she said, "Oh Larry, this is beautiful.  
Very suttle and simple."  
"You like it?" Larry asked.  
"I love it."  
Jennifer thank Larry by giving him a small but sweet kiss on the lips, causing him to have a huge smile on his face.  
" Oh Balki, this is the most beautiful charm bracelet" said Maryann, referring to the sliver rope around her wrist, along with a small pink heart charm, in between hers and Balki's initials.  
"Does this mean you love it?" he asked.  
Maryann answered, by giving Balki a planting a huge kiss on his lips to which Balki said, "Wow.  
I'll take that as a yes and thank you."  
"They sure were," Maryann chuckled.  
"We're glad you love your gifts."  
"Before we go, Maryann and I have gifts for you guys to," said Jennifer.  
She and her friend each handed their boyfriends medium sized wrapped boxes.  
"Very sweet of you thank you," said Larry, while Balki showed off a big grin and clapped his hands, feeling excited as a child on Christmas.  
The two of them unwrapped the boxes and took the tops off.  
They then removed the items that were inside the boxes which were "homemade" sweaters.  
Larry held up a dark blue sweater, with the words 'Best Boyfriend Ever' knitted in red, while Balki showed off a dark green sweater with an arrow and the words, 'I'm With Her' knitted in white.  
"Well, this is...is something  
Thank you," said Larry.  
"It sure is  
Thank you," Balki added.  
"Go ahead, try them.  
Maryann and I want to see how they look on you," said Jennifer.  
Though neither Balki nor Larry wanted to wear the sweaters, they didn't want to hurt their girlfriend's feelings.  
Larry removed his jacket and put his sweater on, as did Balki.  
"You guys look great," said Jennifer.  
"A very nice woman we met during our flights taught Jennifer and I how to knit," said Maryann.  
"We're going back to our place to get our cameras, so we can get a photo of you two modeling the sweaters."  
"And you can wear them at the restruaunt as it's usual cold."  
Jennifer and Maryann did just that.  
Balki and Larry just looked at each and at their new wearable gifts.  
"Cousin," said Balki.  
"Yes, Balki," said Larry.  
"Remember how I have been saying to you that it's not the gift, it's the thought that counts."  
"I know."  
"Well, this time, I make an exception."  
"What do you say we get the girls nerf guns for Christmas."  
"Read you loud and clear."

The End


End file.
